(It's been quite a while since I have written anything for this travel blog. I want to take you on a journey of what I have been through for some time, despite this post not being travel-related, but life happens...)
For a number of years, I just didn't feel right. For reasons unknown at the time, I started withdrawing from people, canceling plans, avoiding social contact. I wouldn't ever talk to anyone on the phone really. I chalked it up to work exhaustion, but deep down I knew it went beyond that.
I used to be social and enjoy going out - partying, drinking, laughing with friends, getting to know people. But something inside me changed.
Was I depressed? Maybe. Yes, maybe I was just suffering from depression. Depression and anxiety go hand-in-hand, and I was incredibly anxious too! That and completely unmotivated and my memory constantly lapsed.
Was it because I am mom? Yes, that could be it. Kids can put a strain on one's social life and cause even more exhaustion.
Or was it something else?
A couple years ago, I gave birth to my second child, a girl. Having a newborn and being a little older at this point was a bit of a struggle. And I was EXHAUSTED - more exhausted than I have ever been in my life! Here I have a newborn, seven years after my eldest was born. But was passing out cold for hours while sitting up in a chair in the living room normal? Maybe this was my "new normal."
I just didn't feel right.
Then one day, a close relative of mine called saying she had just been diagnosed with hypothyroidism which was caused by Hashimoto's. Hashimoto's? I had never heard of this before. In simple terms, Hashimoto's (named after Dr. Haruku Hashimoto who first discovered it) is an autoimmune disease in which your body attacks your thyroid and is the leading cause of hypothyroidism. We had never heard of this before. My relative urged me to get tested since there was a genetic component to it. Armed with the knowledge she had given me about what tests to get to determine if I had this disease, I saw the nurse practitioner at my PCP office. Luckily she was very familiar with Hashimoto's and ordered the correct blood work, which includes looking at TSH levels (a hormone that controls thyroid gland activity) and the thyroid hormones Thyroxine (T4) and Triiodothyronine (T3) which are produced and secreted by the thyroid gland.
A few days later, the NP called me saying I tested positive for Hashimoto's and that I would need to see an endocrinologist. Upon seeing an endocrinologist, I was given an ultrasound on my throat to fully determine I had the disease and I was put on 50 micrograms of Levothyroxine (the generic form of Synthroid). After taking this medication I started feeling better, although still not great. But slightly better still.
Once I felt on the upswing, I decided to go back to work. Good thing is that I work freelance as an accountant for the entertainment industry, so I can pick and choose which gig to work on and it's always a set amount of time instead of indefinite. I was hired on a show shooting for three months in Massachusetts where I was going to spend the summer with relatives anyways. However, this show was so stressful it ended up having a detrimental affect on my health. I wasn't sleeping and was feeling even worse than I did before I was on the medication. Wrapping this show couldn't come soon enough! I almost quit several times but decided to stick it out since it was only three months.
After the show ended, I went back home and decided that I needed to take care of my health, 100%. I was going to take all the time I needed to feel better, meaning no working until then.
I went back to the endocrinologist for a followup and, after looking at my blood work, the nurse practitioner told me my levels were "within range" and to stay on the 50mg of Levothyroxine. I told her I felt awful, and on top of that, I was getting horrible migraines a few times a week. She didn't seem to care since everything was within range. I felt dismissed. I felt lost. I felt like no one cared and I would have to live like this, exhausted, depressed, anxious and just generally shitty, for the rest of my life.
That wasn't good enough for me.
I have been told by so many people with health problems to "be your own advocate." And I never thought I would have to do that until that last appointment with the endocrinologist.
But now what? What do I do? I thought about finding a new endocrinologist and started looking for one online. Reviews for endocrinologists didn't make me confident I would find a good one. I also started looking at functional medical doctors, which study you and your illness to try to find the root cause, but almost all of them don't take insurance.
I felt discouraged, until, one day, my mother-in-law suggested I go see her hormone specialist who had been of great help to her. Now, it never crossed my mind to see a hormone specialist, and, I could honestly say, I had never even heard of one! But it made sense. Your thyroid produces hormones that regulate functions in your entire body, so why not. I booked an appointment with her hormone specialist (who takes insurance) and that was the beginning of my new lease on life. That and diet changes also help. I now eat as gluten free as possible since gluten can trigger an autoimmune attack on the thyroid gland.
My new doctor really takes the time to listen to me and discuss lab work. She switched my medication from Levothyroxine to NP Thyroid at 60mg, which is a natural thyroid medication that contains both T3 (the active form of thyroid hormone in that it influences many body processes, in particular the regulation of metabolism) and T4 (which is then converted to T3 in tissue and organs). After a few months, my levels were better, but the doctor increased the NP Thyroid dose to 90mg because she thinks it would make me feel even better than I did.
And she was right. I feel so much better. Before my diagnosis, I was becoming a shell of my former self, now I feel almost human again! I rarely get migraines, I can sleep through the night most nights now, I have energy, feel more motivated, I don't really get depressed or anxious any more, and I feel happier than I have ever felt before!
It has taken years to feel better again. Sometimes I get angry about the time I lost, but fortunate it took me a lot less time than it has taken others. Some people never find out they have thyroid disease or don't get a correct diagnosis. Since my diagnosis, which I am very open about, I have met many, many other people who either have Hashi's or know someone who does. The struggle lies in finding the right doctor and the right dosage of medication. Some who have this disease are not on the right medication and can't even work, struggling with extreme exhaustion, depression or some of the other many symptoms. It can be a rough road.
I also think of a major symptom I was told I had by a doctor in my teens. I was told I had a "slight goiter." And that was it. No further testing. No explanation other than it was an enlarged thyroid. Had I been tested then for Hashimoto's and put on medication, maybe my life would have been different. Maybe I wouldn't have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life. Maybe, maybe, maybe...
However, I am fortunate. I have had a great career over the years, traveled to some incredible places, lived all over the United States and have a partner with two great kids. Focusing on the positives is what eases any potential anger I have over this disease. And I am so happy now.
If you are wondering the symptoms of hypothroidism and Hashimoto's, here is a list (although it doesn't include all):
Fatigue and sluggishness
Increased sensitivity to cold
Constipation
Pale, dry skin
A puffy face
Brittle nails
Hair loss
Enlargement of the tongue
Unexplained weight gain
Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
Joint pain and stiffness
Muscle weakness
Excessive or prolonged menstrual bleeding (menorrhagia)
Depression
Memory lapses
Goiter
It is understandable why it is such a hard disease to diagnose since there are so many symptoms and basic blood work will not tell a doctor if your thyroid is functioning properly. If you suspect you have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, please have your doctor run a full panel of testing including TPO antibodies, TSH, T3, T4, and reverse T3 & T4. And if you have Hashimoto's and don't currently have the help you need to feel better, it is imperative to be your own health advocate.
Living with Hashimoto's isn't ideal, but it can ultimately be managed. Although I feel better than I have felt in years, there are still days I struggle, but it's better than before. And for that, I am grateful.
If you have thyroid disease, please feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to.
(This is my first post of 2019 and I will be writing on a weekly basis this year, starting with this post. Feel free to contact me or subscribe to my blog if you want to hear more. And to those of you who have already subscribed, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Wishing you all a happy, healthy New Year!)
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